Wednesday, November 23, 2005

A Close Shave

Ok, so it's been a few months... six to be exact, but in my defence, I've been very busy and I just haven't had time to blog. But, I'm back and I'm going to try and blog as though my life depends on it... well sort of.

At 2 am on Sunday morning, I drove home after spending a very pleasant evening at my friend's house. Unusually for me, I decided to take extra care and kept within all the speed limits, (especially as I had just spent 10 minutes de-icing my car and didn't want to risk skidding on any ice on the roads). Admittedly, I was really tired and just wanted to get home and curl up in my nice warm bed.

As my car moved through the village streets close to my home, I spotted a police car parked on the side of the road. I didn't pay much attention and carried on. Soon after, the police car’s unmistakable flashing blue lights infiltrated my rear view mirror. It took me a few moments to realise that it was me who they were signaling to pull over. Feeling tired and a little dazed, I quickly tried to figure out what the trouble could be. One of my back lights must be out, or maybe they've got the wrong person? I reasoned. The policeman approached the car and I opened my door. The officer looked almost surprised to see me. Feeling absolutely shattered and bordering on being completely incoherent, I followed the policeman to his car, where I stumbled to get inside. I sat down and found another policeman in the driving seat. The first officer, then shoved his mobile phone in my face, which was playing some non-descript tune I had never heard of.

He said "If you can name that tune, I'll let you get off with it!”

Feeling absolutely shagged at this point, I obediently listened to the phone and tried to make out the music playing.

Both policemen were watching me and after a few seconds of listening, I said "Hang on; I haven't actually done anything wrong to get off with!”

They laughed and told me that they were doing random breathalyzer checks. I felt so tired I could hardly speak and blindly blew into breathalyzer. 0%. Thank god! I'd had half a glass of wine six hours before and felt sure it would show up on the test. Feeling relieved and ready to pass out on the back seat, the two young cops (who both looked like teenagers), decided to question me further .

"That's a nice car you've got there. You must have a really good job. What do you do?".

"I'm an IT Contractor", I said.

"So you're really rich then."

"Well..." I replied, feeling very uncomfortable.

"Where do you live?" They asked.

"In the apartments around the corner".

"Oh, the posh ones". They answered.

"It makes a really nice change pulling you over, we usually get aggressive, smelly blokes in the back".

I felt so tired, I was finding it hard to join in the conversation, but felt paranoid that they may still suspect that I was drunk, so said "I bet you thought I was drunk didn't you?".

My speech sounded slurred and I was seriously thinking the cops thought I had a drink or even a mental problem. I kicked myself for making things worse and decided to shut up.

"Yeah we did". And with that, they let me go.